It’s probably a fairly common scenario to walk into to a hardware store and find an employee who would like to play in the NBA one day. On the other hand, it’s probably fairly rare that you would ever find those roles reversed. But, with the current NBA lockout threatening to erase the upcoming season, that is exactly what Delonte West is planning on doing.
Still suffering from the penalties of several indictments on various weapon charges back in 2009, West’s probation prevents him from travelling outside the United States. With these restrictions, the Celtics’ guard will be unable to seek out an international team to play for this winter as many of his colleagues have indicated they would do if the lockout does indeed wipeout next year’s season.
The combination of his extensive criminal record and highly-publicized psychological issues has left his employment opportunities away from the basketball court severely limited. But that has not dampened Delonte’s spirits one bit and he is ready to trade in that green jersey for an orange apron.
West never really struck me as the handyman type, but along with being able to handle his firearms he can also apparently handle a few power tools as he announced on his Twitter account he has applied to work at a Home Depot in Washington D.C. near his childhood home. I knew the economy was bad, but… Really?
It’s difficult to even begin to try and dissect the decision process that led him to this solution, but where would the fun be in all of that? So let’s just do what Delonte seems to do and just go with it.
Imagine walking into your local Home Depot, to-do list in hand, and you find yourself in need of a little professional assistance. In steps Delonte West -- neck tattoos and all. I mean, who better to help solve the domestic dilemma of which shade of lavender would better facilitate the flow between your living and dining room.
Okay, maybe paint wouldn’t be the most suitable department for him. So where would his skills be utilized best? Customer Service? No. Something tells me his severe bipolar disorder might inhibit his ability to reason with disgruntled employees. Cashier? Maybe. But his math skills might need a little brushing up since he left St. Joseph’s College before earning a degree in order to enter the NBA draft. The more I think about it, the more difficult it is to envision him in any specific department.
I’ve got it! What if he just ran around the store getting things off of shelves that are too high for people to reach? Sure, there’s ladders lying around, but that is such a boring and conventional method. At 6’3” tall with a 6’6” wingspan and a 35” vertical jump, how awesome would it be too watch him rise up and snag a box of assorted thumb tacks off the fourth shelf in the middle of completing a 360 degree turn?
You know what? Now I’m surprised that more players aren’t looking into this line of work more seriously. I apologize to Delonte for the condescending tone with which I began this article. I think he might be on to something here. He would have people from all over coming in to get their favorite, hard-to-reach home improvement items.
He’s sitting on a gold mine. Well, not quite. I think the starting salary at Home Depot is somewhere around $10 an hour. That is a hefty pay cut from the $850,000 he earned last year. Perhaps that is the reason this backup career choice isn’t catching on so fast. Money isn’t everything though. I hear they’ve got a great a union there at the Home Depot and that is a lot more than the NBA can claim right now. So for Delonte’s sake and for the sake of NBA fans, let’s hope this lockout ends before Delonte has to go from making plays on the hardwood floor to installing them.
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